Walsh agrees with Geoff Lawson (no surprise): Ricky Ponting is a self indulgent grandstander. Scroope disagrees (unsurprisingly). Never fear football season’s hear – already. It seems Darryl ‘The Big Marn’ Brohman is embarking on a new career: a mix between pilot and model – a ‘pidle’ perhaps.
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Lloyd Scroope and Gerard Walsh lock horns in Counter
LS: Counter attack should be a beauty this week. What with Black Caviar rested for two months, your mate Geoff Lawson grumpy with my mate Ricky Ponting, five-ball overs, Ravi Ashwin showing cheek (and gonads) by running out unsuspecting Sri Lankan Lahiru Thirimanne before releasing the pill (sub continental trade and peace treaties were restored when Thirimanne was invited back to the wicket), third umpires pushing the wrong buttons, and of course, the world croquet championships in Adelaide. Stick around.
GW:Ricky Ponting's press conference on Tuesday was like a Seinfeld episode - a show about nothing. Punter and his management obviously didn't catch Ian Thorpe's similarly cringe-worthy presser last year which earned the wrath of media pundits because of its blatant commercial plugging and lack of meaningful, newsworthy content. You might remember Thorpedo told the world that his comeback was still on course after some dog paddle-like performances in his return to competition. Punter, who I'm telling you won't play another limited overs game again after hardly bothering the scorers this summer, essentially had the same message on Tuesday: "I'm not retiring". Ricky, we knew that. We know you want to play the Ashes in 2013. There's no need to get all precious about it. The sometimes acerbic but always astute former Test paceman Geoff Lawson, who has been gunning for Ponting's dropping (firstly as captain, and then as a player) for a few years now, was right to call his press conference "self-indulgent". When a once great sportsperson, who is obviously on the decline, calls in the media to announce that they're keeping the dream alive, you know it's time for them to give it away. Punter, Thorpedo, Danny Green, The Rolling Stones, John Farnham and the rest of them have missed their chance to retire at the top of their game. Lance Armstrong is an exception of sorts. He retired for three years and came back to finish a mighty third at the Tour De France before bad luck curtailed his chances in his last Tour. He had the wisdom to retire again - quicksmart.
LS: So Lance Armstrong retired, quicksmart as you put it, because he lacked the capability to win an eighth Tour…? Or did he pull the pin so to speak for more clouded reasons. I don’t wish to damn the saintly name of Lance Armstrong, but I’m losing faith in cycling at the elite level. And when three of the past six winners of the Tour de France have been rubbed out for the use of illicit drugs – who could blame me? Where does that leave Cadel? Doesn’t warrant thinking about.
As for your first point, what gives Geoff Lawson the right to wholeheartedly tear into our most prolific batsman? Alright, Henry could play the game better than most, and the opinion he brings to the ABC’s radio commentary is, at best insightful and at worst infuriating, but let me write this - wake up, Geoff! Maybe, just maybe, people are more interested in what our former captain has to say about his dumping from the ODI team (personally, I support the selectors’ decision – there’s nothing noteworthy in the 50-over game until the 2015 World Cup, so let’s get with the programme), than what a long-retired mediocre Test fast bowler and often axed coach thinks. Perhaps Henry, an optometrist, ought to check his vision. In Ricky’s defence, the press conference was hardly self-indulgent. There were 30 people present, he conceded he deserved to be dumped from the one-day team and that his days in canary yellow appear over. What if Ricky needed time to ponder his future…? Perhaps he gave much thought to retiring…?
GW: Say all you want about Lance but until he tests positive to a banned drug, then he's a clean rider. He's an out and out champion in my book. Notwithstanding his intelligence and physical prowess - he was an outstanding athlete as a young man - Armstrong always had a winning attitude. An icecool determination that would break his rivals. The bloke was a cycling world champion in his early 20s. He then survived a near-death bout with cancer. He recovered to be an even stronger man, physically and mentally. And the rest his history. Give him the benefit of the doubt at least. You truly reckon after nearly dying from cancer - and enduring the horror of chemotherapy - that he would be stupid enough to take drugs or engage in doping activity that could potentially make him sick again? Remember too, cycling is one of the world's most drug-tested sports. It's why so many riders are getting pinged. Lance would have been tested thousands of times. But nothing. Move on. Henry Lawson wants Punter to move on. Here here to that. Punter's saving grace is that the players earmarked to fill his spot are falling apart (Khwaja, Marsh and the rest). Ricky might have made a century and a 200 against India but they were bowling curry puffs. This is what Lawson told the ABC on Tuesday: "It's a big question isn't it? I mean we're asking this at the start of the summer and, you know, sadly I think he's not really being honest with himself. He said he'd like to go out on top; well he's just made a hundred and a double-hundred, that is the perfect time to go out. I think he can only slip lower than that." Legend or not, Punter's time has come. The 30 journos who turned up to that press conference on Tuesday had nothing better to do. It's not as if they were going to watch the India V Sri Lanka borefest at the Gabba. Henry Lawson is saying what most of those gutless print journos aren't. Peter Roebuck left a great void.
LS: Like you, I admire Henry’s attitude. He isn’t afraid to lambast the fine players, or corrupt cricket boards and parties for that matter. But, like the now deceased Peter Roebuck, once Lawson puts someone in his crosshairs, he never loses sight (perhaps there isn’t a need for a vision assessment). Henry called for Ricky’s head when he was out-of-form. Now Punter is in terrific touch (at least in Test cricket), yet surprise, surprise, Lawson still wants a bloke who’s amassed 2000 more runs than the next best Australian to step aside.
Surely that’s enough ink-dribble about summer sports – after all, it’s ‘officially’ football season as of today.
Some of the biggest boof-headed-chunky-necked-pie-eating-diabetics-in-waiting on the planet smash heads (helmet-less, unlike those fairies in the NFL) tonight when the Super Rugby packs down.
Then next weekend, league lovers can enjoy their first glimpse of a well-oiled Canberra Raiders team that I suspect will win the premiership (mind you, I said that this time last year, too)…
GW: League. BRING IT ON. I've just seen a news flash stating the new ARL Commission has scrapped the McIntyre System for the finals in favour of the current AFL model. Phew. For a while there I thought they were going to introduce Duckworth Lewis. The system means the top four teams are assured of remaining in the competition even if they lose on the opening weekend of the finals. The top two teams are each guaranteed two home games. But what's the bet fans will still complain come September. As a Wests Tigers supporter I am concerned the club appears to be toying with the idea of removing the magpie from club jerseys. Memo to Tigers chief executive Stephen Humphreys: Don't do it or you'll start a war. And you know how tough those Magpie blokes are. My exclusive tip for the 2012 season will be revealed next week... I've narrowed it down to three teams: Melbourne Storm, Wests Tigers and the Cronulla Sharks. I can see Todd Carney and Paul Gallen leading the sky blues to the finals (get on now at big odds). Or maybe I've been Brohmanised by the Sharks' biggest supporter (literally, that is). The Big Marn is an omnipresent beast, the face of a nation, the darling of hobby enthusiasts worldwide... so much so that he appears on eBay these days guised as a model aeroplane pilot. The resemblance is uncanny. And I cannot believe we haven't mentioned the mare yet. What a win by Black Caviar on Saturday. She ran like a thunderbolt in the aptly named Lightning Stakes. Good thing though her trainer is going to give her a break before her UK assault in June. Nothing like giving the Pommies a right royal basting. Finally, I've been asked by my fan(s) to tip him (them) into a winner, so let's start with the Goulburn gallops today. Race 3, no. 6 Wilde Irish Song and race 6, no. 4 Dab Touch will go close. Goodbye and good luck.
LS: $100… sold! A bargain, I say, for a replica doll of a rare Queensland supporter I can tolerate at State of Origin time. Got to love the Big Marn (or the little chap in this instance). As for the gallops today, I’ll take your advice on board and instead back numbers 4 and 3 in races 5 and 6.
Verdict: Walsh needs a new shirt.