FOOTBALL Eintracht Frankfurt v Karlsruher.

Setanta Sports, 4.30-6.30am. German Bundesliga.

LEAGUE Wigan v Bradford.

Fox Sports 2, 4.30-7am. Super League elimination play-off.

GOLF Bell Micro Classic. Second round.

Fox Sports 1, 5.30-8am. US LPGA Tour.

BASEBALL Tampa Bay Rays v New York Yankees.

ESPN, 9am-noon. US Major League.

PARALYMPICS Morning coverage includes swimming heats, athletics, men's wheelchair basketball quarter-finals and road cycling. Evening coverage includes swimming finals, athletics, wheelchair rugby (Australia v New Zealand) and women's wheelchair basketball semi-finals.

ABC2, 1-5.30pm; 7.30-11pm.

MOTOR SPORT Round 9 from Phillip Island. Qualifying.

Channel Seven, 2-5.30pm. V8 Supercars.

RUGBY Sydney University v Eastern Suburbs.

ABC1, 3-5pm. Shute Shield. First semi-final.

LEAGUE Raiders v Titans. The votes are in, and again this year's Dally M awards have provided some of the greatest comedy this side of Matt Brown's pants. Highlights from this year's photo gallery show that there's any number of high fashion options open to the men and women of league: you can go for the "wounded pirate" look (Danny Buderus), wear your tie too long (Nathan Hindmarsh), wear your tie too short (Andrew Ryan), or even walk around with a string of pearls on your head, for no particular reason (Sarah Ryan - what is that, a "headlace"?). Simply brilliant.

Fox Sports 2, 4.15-6.30pm. Toyota Cup. Second qualifying final.

LAWN BOWLS Women's semi-finals.

ABC1, 5-6pm. Australian indoor championships.

LEAGUE Sharks v Raiders. Sea Eagles v Dragons from 8.30. Greg Bird has failed in his attempt to be reinstated to the Sharks for the finals. The sky was overcast today. (We just read over that and it sounds like we're attempting poetry. This is a good thing, because we are.) According to a report in the Herald yesterday, one of the key reasons the Sharks didn't want Bird playing today, despite numerous entreaties from the man himself, was because sponsor LG Electronics was afraid his appearance in a Sharks shirt would generate adverse publicity. Huh? Are these people serious? It's not as if the guy glassed - sorry, allegedly glassed - his girlfriend with a flat screen TV. LG's thesis seems to be that Greg Bird appearing on the field - or even just on the sidelines - today would cause a massive loss of public confidence in stereos. But how exactly would this work? What would punters say? "Oh my God, Greg Bird's playing. Quick - put our LG fridge on eBay. I don't want a company associated with Bird to be responsible for refrigerating my perishables." Or: "You're making a phone call? With an LG handset? After the NRL team they sponsor let Greg Bird on the field? You want to reassess your ethical priorities there, pal." Or: "Did you see that? LG Electronics let Greg Bird put their shirt on. That's it - I'm never toasting again." Ridiculous. The only entity Greg Bird would generate adverse publicity for by appearing in today's match is Greg Bird. The world's stereos are strong enough to ride this storm out. (We should add at this point that we have not been paid a product placement fee by LG for this item. In retrospect, we probably should have asked for one, though.)

Channel Nine, 6.30-10.30pm. Qualifying finals.

FOOTBALL Newcastle v Sydney.

Fox Sports 2, 7-9pm. A-League.

RUGBY Australia v New Zealand. This is it - the moment we've all been waiting for. The moment where Matt Giteau drops off a few tackles, Lote Tuqiri fails for the 567th time this season to beat his man from inside the 22, Al Baxter packs down for every scrum like he's looking for ricotta in the back of the fridge, and everyone consoles themselves with the thought that even if we lose tonight, there'll still be bragging rights among the English expat community of East Asia to play for when we head to Hong Kong for the final Bledisloe match in a couple of months. After former referee Paul Honiss implied that loose refereeing at the scrum and breakdown had allowed Australia and New Zealand to dominate, respectively, the first and second Bledisloe Tests, much of the commentary this week has focused on the role referee Jonathan Kaplan might play in tonight's proceedings. This comes in the broader context of a code-wide push (the push has been especially strong in football, but also present in league) to increase on-field respect for referees and their decisions. Some might describe this as a noble aim, but we think it stinks. We say this for two reasons. First, because you really have to question the moral fibre of someone who decides to pursue a career as a referee. I mean, really, how do referees justify this choice to themselves when they're starting out? "Others may want to play, but all I want to do is officiate . My calling in life is to ensure proper respect for the rules." No matter how big-headed or self-promoting a referee might get (Bill Harrigan, are you reading?), it's hard to escape the impression that all referees are just conehead stattos who were never good enough to make it as players. The second reason the new-found insistence on respect for the referees is silly is because no matter how unfortunate it might be for the recipients, the abuse of referees makes for great TV. There is no greater spectacle on the faith-non-specific deity's earth than the spectacle of a weedy little white guy in tight shorts being crowded by 15 angry Italians/shouted at/accidentally crash-tackled/sat on his arse on the field of play. Seriously, if referee abuse were a sport in its own right, we would be the first to sign up for season tickets. So as we look forward to the 20 points-plus mauling the Wallabies are on the verge of receiving tonight, let's take a moment to remember: no matter what happens, the referee always deserves it.

Channel Seven, Fox Sports 1, 8-10pm. Bledisloe Cup.

AFL St Kilda v Collingwood, delayed coverage.

Channel Ten, 8.30pm-midnight. Semi-final.

GOLF Mercedes Benz Championship. Third round.

Fox Sports 3, 9.30pm-1.30am. European PGA Tour.

FOOTBALL Motherwell v Celtic. Rangers v Kilmarnock from midnight.

Setanta Sports, 9.30pm-2am. Scottish Premier League.

FOOTBALL Liverpool v Manchester United. Blackburn v Arsenal, Fulham v Bolton, Newcastle v Hull, West Bromwich Albion v West Ham, or Wigan v Sunderland (viewer's choice) from midnight. Manchester City v Chelsea from 2.30.

Fox Sports 2, 9.45pm-4.30am. English Premier League.

AND ON RADIO … 2KY, noon-midnight. Racing.

702 ABC, noon-10.30pm. Grandstand . Includes Sharks v Raiders from 6.30 and Sea Eagles v Dragons from 8.30. Reports from Bledisloe decider.

630 ABC NewsRadio, 7-10.30pm. St Kilda v Collingwood. SUNDAY FOOTBALL

Setanta Sports, 2-7am. Italian Serie A.

FOOTBALLDerby County v Sheffield United.

Fox Sports 1, 2.15-4.30am. English Championship.

LEAGUE Catalans v Warrington.

Fox Sports 2, 3.30-5.30am. Super League elimination play-off.

FOOTBALL Inter Milan v Catania.

ESPN, 4.25-6.30am. Serie A.

GOLF Bell Micro Classic. Third round.

Fox Sports 1, 5.30-8am. US LPGA Tour.

BASEBALL New York Mets v Atlanta.

Fox Sports 3, 5.30-9am. US Major League.

MOTOR SPORT Morning coverage includes swimming heats, athletics, and wheelchair tennis. Evening coverage includes swimming finals, athletics, men's wheelchair basketball semi-finals, and wheelchair rugby (Australia v Great Britain).

Channel Seven, noon-5.30pm. V8 Supercars.

PARALYMPICS

ABC2, 1-5.30pm; 7.30-11pm.

LEAGUE Warriors v Dragons.

Fox Sports 1, 1.45-4pm. Toyota Cup. Fourth qualifying final.

FOOTBALL Wellington v Central Coast. Perth v Queensland from 5.

Fox Sports 2, 3-7pm. A-League.

LEAGUE Storm v Warriors.

Channel Nine, 3.30-6pm. Qualifying final.

MOTOR SPORT Delayed telecast on Channel Ten, midnight-2am.

Ten HD, 9.30pm-midnight. Italian formula one grand prix.

GOLF Mercedes Benz Championship. Final round. The similarities between golf and cricket, referred to in last week's column, have become no greater over the past seven days. This is a major disappointment, since our desire to use a golf listing to talk about cricket is just as great - perhaps even greater - than ever before. The talk this week has been all about the crisis in Australian spin bowling, with the selectors concerned about Beau Casson, who is injured and not particularly good, and Bryce McGain, who is 36 and injured and has only been good for the past five minutes of his professional career, as our sole bulwarks against annihilation on the low and dusty pitches of India for our upcoming tour of the "subcon'nent" (as everyone on Channel Nine seems to pronounce it).

Fox Sports 3, 9.30pm-1.30am. European Tour.

On The Box is pushing for McGain. Some will argue, for instance, that McGain is 36 and injured, and that he has only been good for the past five minutes of his professional career. This may be true, but his elevation into the Test side deserves to be applauded, since it highlights the direction in which this country will need to evolve over the next few years if we are to remain a force in international cricket: we need to make sure more old blokes get into the team. The Australian selectors have already given youth a shot, and look at what that's given us: Cameron White and his uniquely non-spinning spinners and photo reel after photo reel of Shane Watson's buttocks. Old people, by contrast, offer a consistently failsafe selection option: their anecdotes go for longer, they've passed the age where their mother - if she's still alive, that is - would ever give them a diuretic, they're less likely to feel self-conscious wearing a cream jumper (this being one of the main reasons for the slow uptake of cricket among Australian youth today), and there's little chance of them being snapped in public naked. Sure, they're also physically frail, but when has a question mark over fitness ever not been cancelled out by an exclamation mark over jumper taste? In any event, there's also a strong demographic argument in favour of handing a bigger slice of the CA contractual pie to the over-65s. Our population is ageing, and unless we want old people clogging up hospitals and acting as a drag on productivity, we need to make sure they stay as active as possible for as long as possible. The solution, as always, is to co-opt them into compulsory weekly cricket camps. As our population ages, in other words, there will not just be a need for people over 65 to continue making an active contribution to the economy through part-time work: senior citizens will also need to dust down their kit bags and get working on their wrist spin. Between part-time work and net sessions, there'll be hardly a minute left for them to call in to talkback radio. The net result is that we'll kill three birds with one stone: we'll get a more productive economy, a better quality of leg-spinning old bloke in the national Test team, and peace in taxis.

Could there ever be a better position for this country to be in? It's hard to think so. Bryce McGain might just have found the key to making this country great again.

FOOTBALL Stoke v Everton.

Fox Sports 1, 10.30pm-12.30am. English Premier League.

FOOTBALL Genoa v Milan. Spanish league. Villareal v Deportivo La Coruna from 1am.

ESPN, 11pm-3am. Serie A.

FOOTBALL Napoli v Fiorentina. German Bundesliga from 1. Bochum v Bielefeld.

Setanta Sports, 11pm-3am. Italian Serie A.

MOTOR SPORT Munster v Dragons.

Fox Sports 2, 1.45-6am. US Moto GP.

RUGBY

Setanta Sports, 3-5am. Magners League.

AND ON RADIO … 702 ABC, noon-6pm. Grandstand . Includes Storm v Warriors from 4. Palermo v Roma. French Championship from 5. Bordeaux v Marseille.