SANTA: Man of the moment

He is the man of the moment and this week Santa Claus took a break from organising gifts to answer some tough questions from ConnectPink.

You must have had a frantic past month, can you tell us about it?

It has been difficult.  This year with the continued melting of the polar caps I’ve been using a transport combination of sleigh and boat.  The reindeer have also been getting a little fussy about their diets.  Prancer is telling me she is over eating just grass and wants something a bit more gourmet.  I blame it on MasterChef - they reindeer have been glued to that series. As you can imagine in between festive seasons the reindeer have a lot of thinking time, too much thinking time – and it can be unhealthy.  Dancer even wants to try out for The X Factor next year.

Plenty of people claim you’re not real – what do you say to that?

Well, unless you’re having a conversation with yourself, I’m as real as the tooth fairy and the Easter Bunny – and no-one questions whether they exist, do they?

Concerns have also been raised about whether your rather, er, portly stature sets a good example at a time when the developed world is increasingly concerned about obesity.  Your thoughts on that?

Look.  I’d be the first to admit my BMI is not what I’d like it to be but this year I’ve been down at the gym for regular pump classes and I think people will see a much fitter Santa this Christmas.  In fact, I’m, going to have to add padding to the suit because I’ve lost a few centimetres off the girth and people still love a cuddly Santa. The main thing is that the reindeer are fit.  Dasher in particular is looking fantastic.  His skinfolds are amazing and he’s been getting 14s and 15s in beep tests.

Just on the suit, isn’t it a bit hot?

My word it is.  It’s fine down in Tasmania but by the time I get to Alice Springs I’m a mess.  I usually stop off at Birdsville Hotel for a cooling ale though.

How do you cope with all the correspondence?

It was a lot easier before email.  It’s more of an effort to write snail mail but these days people can fire off an email in a matter of seconds without putting any thought into what they’ve written.  But I still reply or get one of the elves to reply on my behalf.  The requests an be hard to satisfy.  Sometimes people write asking for world peace or a Collingwood premiership but there’s only so much you can pack into a Santa sack.  And to be frank, world peace and premierships are not things I can create here at the North Pole.

So do you embrace technology?  Are you on Facebook or ConnectPink?

I’ve been resisting going down that path but it’s a bit like mobile phones, you can only resist for so long.  It’s not that I’m a technophobe either.  I have an MP3 player so I can listen to some tunes while we zoom between islands on the Pacific Ocean.

And finally, do you prefer Santa Claus or Father Christmas?

I’m not fussed either way.  I just want children to be good.

OTHER CHRISTMAS EXCLUSIVES:

- RUDOLPH: Spilling the beans on Santa

- MRS CLAUS: The woman behind the man

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