STRANGERS become friends and friends become family in the aftermath of loss.
Subscribe now for unlimited access.
$0/
(min cost $0)
or signup to continue reading
This couldn’t be truer than in the case of the Cunninghams.
The community was crippled by shock in May 2012, when 18- year-old Hugo Cunningham took his life.
It was a heartbreaking tragedy and one the family, headed by parents Jack and Jo, actively work to fight against.
Part of that fight, Mrs Cunningham says, is the power of mateship – the simplest human bond.
Tomorrow teammates, school peers, work colleagues, friends, mothers, fathers, siblings and strangers will join together to remember Hugo’s life, legacy and infectious laughter through shining a light on suicide.
The event marks the second annual Mates Rate family day hosted by the Goulburn Rugby Club at Poidevin Oval.
It’s a day of awareness with a focus on educating people against stigma, learning to recognise the signs within friends and what to say to support them.
It’s a day for building resilience and strengthening the bonds of community.
Most of all, Mrs Cunningham says it’s an event to deliver a strong message that suicide awareness and suicide minimisation is still on the agenda, in a big way.
“It’s really important to have an event like this in the community that acknowledges it has a problem, and we have a problem with the young people in our community,” Mrs Cunningham said on Wednesday.
“The day is about mates supporting mates and that was one of the things I realised after Hugo passed away, that his friends had been blaming themselves because they hadn’t seen the signs.
“I was devastated to think that they were blaming themselves because there was nothing that they could do to change it. They didn’t have the faintest idea how he was travelling because he was the master of disguise, he could pretend everything was fine and be the life of the party when he wasn’t actually feeling like that at all. I think it’s really important that they’re aware of that and know there is no one to blame.”
Through lending support and providing information, Mrs Cunningham hopes to arm the community with the power of conversation – to open the floodgates for dialogue about mental health and to encourage everyone to ask their friends, neighbours and family “are you ok?”.
“The Rugby Club have continued to support us and the way they have done that is they have allowed me to grieve for Hugo in getting that message out,” she said.
“It’s not something that I’m ever going to get over but it’s given me a little bit of clarity and its helped me because I’ve been able to get my teeth into something that still gives him a presence for me.
“It sort of feels like yesterday that I saw him but in other ways it feels like forever. He is still here for me and no, I can’t help him, but in his memory maybe I can help somebody else.”
“WHETHER it was laughing at something you said or just laughing at something he said, it was always just laughter with Hugo,” long-time close friend of Hugo, Sam Northwood said.
The pair went through two high schools together after becoming friends at the age of 13. Life was all light and laughter between the two, and the pair gained infamy for their inseparable relationship.
“I heard that he had passed away through my next door neighbour… it was the saddest I’ve ever felt.”
Mr Northwood swore on the importance of friends in working through those times.
Where blissfully ignorant prior to that day, he says he and his friendship circle now make a point to check in on each other and celebrate that bond.
“I would never have gotten through that time without them. We are all in this together. We were all good mates with him and we are all better friends now,” he said.
The group will have an almighty showing at tomorrow’s event to promote the cause and support the family that supported them.
“Jo and Jack have always looked out for the boys, as hard as it was for them they looked after us like we were their own and made sure we were alright,” Chris Hindi said.
“People should know it doesn’t hurt to send your mate a message every now and then and ask how life is going. Check if everything is alright and ask if they are ok.”
Event details:
The Mates Rate event will be a day-long occasion with all rugby grades (except the U18) taking to the field from 10am.
2nd Grade will run on at 1pm to take on Yass, donning special commemoration jerseys dedicated to Hugo. The special edition jerseys will be auctioned off after the game.
Headspace will hold an information stall as well as a virtual backyard with blow up chairs for spectators to sit and relax while they enjoy the day’s games. Student doctors from the ANU will also be doing health checks.
There will also be blue fairy floss on sale, as well as hot food and a BBQ, all on blue bread.
Band, The Lumpy Underdaks, will be playing in the Dirty Reds clubhouse from 4.30pm.
Donations will be taken at the gate.
The day begins at 10.30am when the Under 10's Tableland Reds take to the park.
First grade take on Yass at 2.30pm.
Important contacts:
Lifeline 13 11 14
Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800
MensLine 1300 78 99 78