That was the day it was announced the looming Lilac Time Festival procession would change routes, starting at North Goulburn Railway Station and ending at the city’s garbage dump. It would include a combined gas company and council float, with aldermen on board inflating plastic bags and balloons. Festival activities included drag racing in Auburn Street and a caning exhibition by local school teachers.

In other news, a SEX party was to be formed, campaigning against the commercialisation of Christmas. It stood for Stop Exploiting Xmas.

Elsewhere, there were denials the Russian Embassy had a submarine patrolling the Mulwaree Ponds.

These were the stories carried by the one-off edition of The Heaving Ghost, published by Goulburn Apex. It was intended as spoof of the Goulburn Evening Post, which aided and abetted its production.

Local man Bob Norris found an intact copy, along with other old newspapers while rummaging through his shed recently.

The Heaving Ghost’s editorial stated that it was printed to provide an “additional attraction” to the Lilac Festival and to raise funds for the Lilac Queen candidate.

The club was a non-sectarian, non-political organisation of men aged 18 to 40 who were actively involved in the community.

Former Club life member Bruce Harvey joined in March, 1962 and remembered the publication.

“I can’t recall who made the suggestion but the club wholeheartedly wanted to go ahead with it,” he said.

“...It sent a lot of people up but the community reaction was very good. It was well received and people got a good laugh out of it.” 

Mr Harvey said John Munro was Apex president at the time and the committee comprised Bob Young, Bob Williams, Bill Coffey, Ray Williams, Ray Harvey and Barry O’Brien. 

The publication, loosely dubbed the Lilac Time Paper, 1966, was wrapped and delivered to every Goulburn home.

“That year the treasurer’s report detailed receipts from the paper as $646.10 in advertising and $425.70 for printing, so we came out ahead,” Mr Harvey said.

Ray Williams, then news editor at 2GN, was complicit in the scheme. In fact he wrote most of the material and Goulburn Evening Post editor of the day, Ray Leeson turned it into a newspaper.

It carried news of a Schott-Gunn wedding and a fashion parade by “five of Goulburn’s most attractive girls” modelling topless evening dresses. Then there was the local butcher, BA Snagger, fined $100 by Magistrate Getum for putting meat in his sausages.

“It’s all bull,” he told the Magistrate.

There were upside down ads and a ‘lost and found section.’ The latter advertised a lost “large War Memorial lost in the vicinity of Rocky Hill and “several prisoners in assorted shapes and sizes. Reward – Goulburn Training Centre.”

Mayor of the day, Ernie McDermott was referred to as Mayor EJ McDammit. The ‘municipal scanties’ column carried news of a plan to paint the ladies toilet in Belmore Park pink to distinguish them from the men’s.

The sports section reported sightings of Indians at the golf course, “enlisted in a last desperate attempt to water the fairways.”

The Heaving Post came with riders. It was “published only once through the foolishness of our advertisers and colossal nerve of the Apex Club of Goulburn.” Any similarity to a real newspaper was “surprising,” its front cover quipped.

The editorial spelled it out more clearly. 

“Should any local citizen feel he resembles in any way anyone quoted or described, he can rest assured that this is purely intentional,” it stated.

“For obvious reasons, only people important enough to be in the public eye have been featured.

“...We hope everyone accepts the paper as it is intended – as good fun – and that they will enjoy it to the maximum.” 

Mr Williams described Apex as a “brilliant organisation” which was originally for young men aged 18 to 40 but was later opened to women. Goulburn had three clubs. 

“Every town had its Apex Club and they did a great amount of work for their communities,” he said.

“For some reason, young people no longer join service clubs and that is a terrible pity.

“I was the local District Governor when my daughters were young and they and their mother were involved in many activities, including trips to conventions around Australia.

“Young Australians will never have the same sort of lifestyle or the wide range of friends we formed.”