Having come to Australia from another country, it is interesting to learn what people regard as ‘good manners’. Someone once told me that it’s good manners to put up with other people’s bad manners.
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In my Indonesian culture, it is good manners to greet someone with ‘Selamat’ which means peace. It is traditionally not appropriate for men to touch a woman in a greeting and even now I feel a bit uncomfortable with the Australian way of greetings with hugs and kisses. However handshakes are fine. One thing is not to touch someone on the head, especially a child, as this is not just bad manners but extremely disrespectful. The head is very sacred.
People at the Goulburn Multicultural Centre often ask what good manners in Australia are. Some things I have discovered include being on time, being polite by constantly saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’, covering the mouth when sneezing, talking about the weather if you don’t know what to say and laughing at someone’s jokes even if you don’t understand them. So what are considered good manners in other countries?
In most Asian countries, including China, it is good manners to respect the views of older people. Young people will often not marry someone they love if their parents or grandparents don’t approve. In Japan it is good manners to save face, avoid negative comments and smile when embarrassed or offended.
However things are rapidly changing and older people are often heard to say that young people today have no manners. I think in reality, every new generation continues to challenge the habits and manners of the past.
For me, good manners are respecting other people’s manners.