IN death, as he was in life, Jamie Wilson is a giving man, as four strangers live on thanks to his gift of organs.
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The much-loved local, 26, died last month from injuries sustained in a collision on the Hume Highway.
By chance, months earlier, he'd expressed his wish to be an organ donor should such a situation ever arise.
His parents, Jeff and Jenny Wilson, are now urging everyone to "have the conversation" about organ donation.
"We want this as a legacy for him," Jeff said. "Have the conversation with your family, friends, partners . . .
"You may not want to [donate your organs] and that's fine . . . it's about having that conversation."
Not long ago, anyone who held a driver's licence could indicate their organ donor status on their card.
Now, that system has been replaced by an "opt in" database, the Australian Organ Donor Register.
Authorities are also discussing replacing that register with donation by default and a choice to "opt out".
Regardless, Jeff said he "can't imagine . . . the dilemma" for those who don't know their loved one's wishes.
"You just never know when you're going to lose a loved one," he said, adding, "It's still a tough decision."
"How we felt up there [at the hospital], we might have said no, because it was just overwhelming," Jenny said.
"Having to make that decision when you're feeling the way you do, it makes it very difficult," Jeff said.
"So know what the decision is, know what the person's wishes are.
"If we know that we're helping other people, that's reassuring for us.
"Our son's life . . . continues to mean something into the future. That's one thing we're really hoping for."
The accident
A CORONER'S inquiry and report into the March 21 accident is yet to be completed, but known facts are that:
About 2.30pm that day, Jamie Wilson was driving north on the Hume Highway, heading to his workplace depot.
Police believe the nightshift worker was driving his utility on the inside northbound lane towards Goulburn.
Some 300m south of the southern off-ramp to Goulburn, his ute ran into the rear of an Essential Energy truck.
The vehicles were travelling in the same direction, with witnesses noting nothing unusual about either vehicle.
The ute's front end took the major impact, such that police rescue had to use jaws of life to open the driver door.
Ambulance crews, general duties police, NSW Fire and Rescue, and the Roads and Maritime Services attended.
Paramedics worked on Jamie for nearly two hours before he was transferred by a helicopter flight to hospital.
Critically, two men first on the scene - a reverend and a doctor - were able to sit Jamie upright in his utility cabin and establish an airway, actions that helped keep him alive until paramedics arrived not long after.
"Without those two people, Jamie wouldn't have been able to donate his organs," Jeff said. "And we wouldn't have been able to spend two days of being able to cuddle him and say our farewells [in Canberra Hospital]."
Both the ute and truck have been impounded until the coroner’s report can find a cause of the accident.
“That’s a big question that we ask: Why?” Jeff said.
“Why did it have to happen to him? ‘What if?’ is the other... What if he had have been 30 seconds later, or 30 seconds earlier? They’re questions you can’t answer.”
The decision
JAMIE and Jenny were watching television one afternoon, as the shift worker often did with his mother, sharing lunch and banter, when something - Jenny can’t remember what - sparked Jamie’s comment to her.
“He just said, If anything happens to me, it’s not much use me taking it with me. If someone can use it, they can,” Jenny said.
“I spent a lot of time with Jamie because he was on nightshift a lot. Sometime he’d sit here and say nothing, he’d be on his phone and Facebook; other times he’d be chat, chat, chat about things. He was a typical son.
“He would do anything for anybody, his friends, his family: he was very orientated towards family and friends.”
“He just wanted to help out as much as he could,” Jeff said, “and that’s what flowed through [as an] organ donor.
“A lot of people are praising us for doing it, but we don’t deserve the praise. We just were doing what he wished to happen. It was hard, but that’s what he wanted, and we wanted to make sure we did everything right for him.”
The Wilsons have only praise for the organ donation protocols that began once Jamie’s wishes were known.
“The whole set-up at Canberra Hospital - the doctors, nurses and social workers - brilliant,” the Wilsons agreed.
“As soon as it got to that stage... the organ donor nurse came and sat with us and stayed with us the whole time, right through to 2.30 in the morning when we had to say our final farewells.
“They were helping us with the paperwork, and keeping us informed about what was happening, as far as the process goes. Then that nurse stayed with Jamie for the six-hour operation he had to undergo for the organ donation. They stayed with him the whole time and . . . we had doctors coming in frequently, keeping us informed. They were very, very good.”
The gift
“WE would like to emphasise the process of organ donation and how supportive it is,” Jeff said.
“We’ve received a folder from Organ Donation Australia ... about the four [recipients] and how they’re going.
“They’ve all recovered really well from their surgeries; they’re all going really well from Jamie’s donation.”
The feedback is discreetly worded. The recipients of Jamie’s liver are “middle-aged” and “a young person”. Another adult has received one of Jamie’s kidneys and his pancreas, and is now less dependent on insulin. A “senior” with the other kidney is now free from dialysis. Jamie’s heart valves are also going to be transplanted.
The Wilsons’ folder came from Donate Life ACT, part of Canberra Hospital, and included readings on grief.
“It’s given us that little bit of ... it’s not hope, I don’t know how you would describe it,” Jeff said.
“The amount of pain we feel is huge, and the impact on our lives has been horrific. But it makes you feel a little bit better.
“Jamie was such a giving person, we know that’s what he would have wanted [and he’s] helped other lives.”
“We have said we’ll talk to anybody who received [them] so we can tell them what Jamie was like,” Jenny said.
The Wilsons are also prepared to champion organ donation, “our son’s legacy to Goulburn, and Australia-wide”.
The legacy
JEFF’S brother Gary set up the ‘Do A Jamie’ Facebook page to raise awareness on organ donation and “having the conversation”.
In just a few weeks, it has been shared extensively, more than 24,000 times, and counting.
Jeff said the Facebook feedback alone showed many people weren’t aware that nominating as an organ donor had been taken off drivers’ licences, with a new national system of “opt in” registration having taken its place.
“A lot of people have been going on there [donatelife.gov.au] to register now, so we think we have helped increase the number of registrations for organ donation.
“That’s the main reason we’re doing this story. We’re very private people, really, but . . . we want this as a legacy for him. Our message is to have the conversation.”
Mates from Jamie’s workplace, Divalls, helped tidy up his box of valuable tools - with some pieces valued at $900 - with the intention of taking it to the family home, “but they’d need a forklift to deliver it,” Jeff said.
“We’ve told Divalls to keep it out there and whenever apprentices come into the workplace, they’ve got a toolkit all there ready to go, and it’s to be passed from apprentice to apprentice until they build up their own toolboxes.”
Jamie’s funeral was attended by some 1200 mourners from the region and interstate, who helped the Wilsons raise $4200 for the NSW Ambulance Helicopter service and the Snowy Hydro SouthCare rescue helicopter.
In death, as in life, Jamie Wilson continues to give. “He is our hero, our champion, and our son.”
